Friday, July 25, 2008

More Kiwi Songs you won't be hearing on the National Programme


In case you missed, it back in March I scanned my record collection, in an effort to formulate what I considered to be ‘The Top 10 most Offensive Kiwi Song Titles’ ever.

At the end of the process, I came-up with 15 songs, all worthy entries in their own right. Either that or I’m an indecisive prick, unable to make hard choices and curb it back to ten(?)

Any way since then, I’ve come across a number of ‘juicy’ titles which I missed in the initial research, and I feel it’s only fair they too achieved the lofty mantle amongst ‘the most offensive’ ever (yep, I’m employing that tacky tactic of putting ‘ever’ at the end, as if to deride other such lists, and at the same time emphasise what bloody good titles I’ve rooted out)

Here’s hoping the bands involved, will enjoy this dubious distinction.

If not – tough!

So here we go folks, six more tunes to avoid playing when mums in the room:

Hi-Tone Destroyers: ‘Deep inside Teenage Pussy’
The Users: ‘Arseful of Fist’
Steffan Van Soest Hit Machine: ‘Hey Mother Fucker’
Palace of Wisdom: ‘Eat You Out’
Peter Gutteridge: ‘Fuck Your Mother to Hell’
Chris Hazelwood: 'Wankfest'

This list is obviously ‘a work in process’ so be sure to send me your songs for inclusion, eh.
Oh yeah, the picture at the top is The Steffan Van Soest Hit-Machine. No, it wasn't taken at his Granny's 70th.