Do Offal and Music Mix?

How does one adequately submit a dissertation,on arguably New Zealand's most eclectic & satarical band??

Well let's try, by starting with the lead guitarist, who at one point used the pseudonym 'Gaylord Jesus'. Then there's the duet of 'Tennessee Pussy' & 'Bi-Curious George' (imagine the two chicks out of the B52's, but with attitude and a more liberal application of the both the English language and body art) A hyperactive rhythm section that's currently masquerading under the names 'Doghart' and 'El Grinlound Frajillo' – well at least that's the names they used last week anyway. Then into the stage presence: ball-room dress's for the fellas, and for your added viewing pleasure a selection of dubious super 8 films. Include the occasional bucket of offal for crowd control, and a musical style that ranges from country to prog rock. Kind of Blerta meets The Mothers of Invention with a hint of Coney Island Freak Show,but not exactly.

And what we have got for dinner mum?

MEAT-BIX!

Not again, we had it last night.

Their musical 'piesta resistance' has to be that grand ol' piss-taking anthem 'I've Got a Hard-On for Jesus' (not to be confused with a song with the same title by 'The Dandy Warhols', which is also worthy of a check-out)

This knees-up ditty is deserving of a wider audience, so you have the chance to play it here and sing & dance along with the family at the same time.

Ask yourself - has blasphemy ever been this much fun and been so damn catchy?!

"I've got a Hard-On for Jesus" by Meat-Bix.

I went down to the church, to have myself a pray

On the cross was my Saviour and Lord

Well he was lookin' 'bout as naked as a jaybird

And I felt somethin' growin' in my shorts.

I've got a hard on for Jesus

It's bulging 'gainst my leg, can't you see?

Yes, I've got a hard on for Jesus

And Jesus has his hard on for me

Yeah, Jesus has his hard on for me.
I felt the devil pull me asunder

These thoughts of mine, they filled me with such shame

Well he was looking so right fine and perty

I fell on my knees and wanked off in his name

Yes, I fell on my knees and wanked off in his name.

'Cos I've got a hard on for JesusIt's bulgin' 'gainst my leg, can't you see?

Yeah, I've got a hard on for Jesus H. Christ

And Jesus has his hard on for me

Yeah, Jesus has his hard on for me.

His bedroom eyes were burnin', they were searin' my soul

He didn't have to say any words
I felt the hand of Jesus give that final downstroke

And I shot my load and shouted Praise the Lord (PRAISE THE LORD!)

Yeah I shot my load and shouted PRAISE THE LORD!!!

More about Meatbix here: http://www.myspace.com/meatbix

Buy Meatbix's seven track debut EP here: http://www.myspace.com/galaxyrecordsnz