Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Do Offal and Music Mix?



How does one adequately submit a dissertation,on arguably New Zealand's most eclectic & satarical band??




Well let's try, by starting with the lead guitarist, who at one point used the pseudonym 'Gaylord Jesus'. Then there's the duet of 'Tennessee Pussy' & 'Bi-Curious George' (imagine the two chicks out of the B52's, but with attitude and a more liberal application of the both the English language and body art) A hyperactive rhythm section that's currently masquerading under the names 'Doghart' and 'El Grinlound Frajillo' – well at least that's the names they used last week anyway. Then into the stage presence: ball-room dress's for the fellas, and for your added viewing pleasure a selection of dubious super 8 films. Include the occasional bucket of offal for crowd control, and a musical style that ranges from country to prog rock. Kind of Blerta meets The Mothers of Invention with a hint of Coney Island Freak Show,but not exactly.

And what we have got for dinner mum?
MEAT-BIX!

Not again, we had it last night.

Their musical 'piesta resistance' has to be that grand ol' piss-taking anthem 'I've Got a Hard-On for Jesus' (not to be confused with a song with the same title by 'The Dandy Warhols', which is also worthy of a check-out)

This knees-up ditty is deserving of a wider audience, so you have the chance to play it here and sing & dance along with the family at the same time.
Ask yourself - has blasphemy ever been this much fun and been so damn catchy?!

"I've got a Hard-On for Jesus" by Meat-Bix.

I went down to the church, to have myself a pray
On the cross was my Saviour and Lord
Well he was lookin' 'bout as naked as a jaybird
And I felt somethin' growin' in my shorts.

I've got a hard on for Jesus
It's bulging 'gainst my leg, can't you see?
Yes, I've got a hard on for Jesus
And Jesus has his hard on for me

Yeah, Jesus has his hard on for me.
I felt the devil pull me asunder
These thoughts of mine, they filled me with such shame
Well he was looking so right fine and perty
I fell on my knees and wanked off in his name
Yes, I fell on my knees and wanked off in his name.

'Cos I've got a hard on for JesusIt's bulgin' 'gainst my leg, can't you see?
Yeah, I've got a hard on for Jesus H. Christ
And Jesus has his hard on for me
Yeah, Jesus has his hard on for me.


His bedroom eyes were burnin', they were searin' my soul
He didn't have to say any words
I felt the hand of Jesus give that final downstroke
And I shot my load and shouted Praise the Lord (PRAISE THE LORD!)
Yeah I shot my load and shouted PRAISE THE LORD!!!

More about Meatbix here: http://www.myspace.com/meatbix

Buy Meatbix's seven track debut EP here: http://www.myspace.com/galaxyrecordsnz




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